Lex Requests More Accountability

So an "ex" of mine up in Idaho has a blog. I only discovered it today. Hey, I told you he was an "ex"!

I use quotes because our "relationship" defies accurate description. He wasn't really an ex in the traditional sense of the word, and I don't consider him a FORMER friend, although I don't think we've had contact in a few years. Since the last time I recall making contact, I have another kid, and so does he. And both are oldests are old since the last time I actually SAW him in the flesh.

But I digress. In catching up on his posts (yes, I started at the beginning for better contextual understanding), I found a very timely post he calls Great Technical People.

I believe that this doesn't just apply to techs, but the greater world in general. and it all comes down to ACCOUNTABILITY, folks. It should be a required course - along with the 3 R's and whatnot. If we all understood and used accountability in our daily lives, gosh, this planet would totally rock.

Problem is, tehre are too many people trying to live up to some false expectation in the world. Trying to be more than tehy are, or less than they could be because it's too hard to do what's right.

The Marketing lesson? Jeepers, if you haven't figured it out, go read his post again.

So after a quick trip to the local library with my oldest child and his best friend, I scoped out the shelves for some new reads.

I found a couple of VERY good resources, and I had to share this one today:



Kaira Sturdivant Rouda is the president of Real Living, and "gets it" when it comes to personal branding. I'm half way through her book, Real You Incorporated: 8 Essentials for Women Entrepreneurs.

I can't tell you how mnay times I've shouted from the rooftops the importance of Branding yourself. Kaira's book really gets it done.

Stay tuned!

7 Secrets of Multimillionaire Entrepreneurs

My mind has been blown wide open.

I took a huge risk and it's been paying off in spades - and it's only been a week!

I made a commitment to invest in a teleseminar series with Ali Brown and David Neagle called "The 7 Mindset & Manifesting Secrets of Multimillionaire
Entrepreneurs". This was not a cheap experience, to say the least - but for coaching direct from Ali and David, the price was well worth it.

We sit on the phone for 5 calls each about an hour and a half long. Each call reveals one or two of the 7 secrets, and we're getting ready for call three tonight.

But those first two calls really had me taking a look at priorities, life focus and "the ultimate questions" for me.

Here's the biggest highlight from the first call:
If you knew you could not fail, and that money, public opinion, and other external factors did not matter, what would you choose for your life?

That question left me - a woman with many words - silent. For a very long time.
I had to take a lot of time to dig down past years of subterfuge and enculturation to get at what was really tugging at my heart.

And what I found almost shocked me. I say almost because I knew it was there all along, it was just hiding under the years of dust and grime.

No. I don't REALLY want to be a rock star. Although music does play a role in this.

No. I don't REALLY want to leave Michigan - contrary to what my husband thinks. I do want to do a bit of travel, but I like being based in the Midwest.

I'm still having a hard time putting it all into words. One thing for sure, I want to start a scholarship fund for young women. So I'm getting the wheels going on that this month. It'll be a while before it's fully realized, but I've learned that you've got to start somewhere, and you've got to START, or dreams never become reality.

So stay tuned. Big things are happening in my life. What about yours?

Presidential Candidate Exposed!

You know what they say...

If you want something done right, do it yourself!





Okay, I'm sure you've figured out I'm not REALLY running for President, although I chuckle at the idea of having an old lady tattoo a tramp stamp on her backside with my name on it!

But this viral marketing video is taking the nation by storm and yes, you too can get in on the fun.

Hey Mark! Any chance of seeing you "run for Prez"? You'd get my vote! Maybe if Don Williamson had something like this going on for his campaign, it might stimulate a little more interest.

Hee hee.

Viral marketing is a powerful tool. You can use video - or other means of transference to build a powerful word-of-mouth reputation online and off.
Establishing trust is based in getting people to know you and like you. I've written about this before, but ultimately, it's the measuring stick by which all interactions take place. People have to feel like they know, like and trust you in order to want to do business with you and create what I call an Affirmative Buying Decision with you.

Buying can be anything, essentially it's an affirmative agreement to your offer - whatever your offer is. It could be dining out, it could be a movie, it could be buying a new car.

It could be getting your vote for president.

The Trash Man Cometh

I'm a weird bird, I'll admit it.

If I'm home when my mail carrier arrives, I'll meet him at the door and tell him thank you. I figure they don't see a lot of people on their day route, and I should be grateful to them for saving me time by delivering my mail every day (and picking up all the packages I send out on a daily basis).

Also, My aunt (who's retiring soon) works as a supervisor in his office, so every now and again I get "Stories" from him. Fun stuff.

But I also say thanks to my sanitation engineers.

Most of the time, I just shout out a "THANK YOU!" as they're scooping up the bins and driving away.

But not today.

On our sanitation trucks (and I think this is common in most areas, but just for clarity) there is a driver and a rig man. He's the guy that rides on the back end of the truck to grab the bins and dump them into the back end.

Seems pretty dangerous and labor intensive to me. Which is one of the reasons I make sure to say thanks.

But today's rig man was a jerk.

So he got no thanks of any kind.

In retrospect, he may have been having a bad day, and I think that's true in any business. We have days that aren't so great. We shove and slam and bang things out of frustration, thinking that taking it out on the inanimate object will make us feel better.

But he cracked the wheel on my trash can when he hucked it half way across the road.

Needless to say, I felt a little disgruntled and saying "thank you" would probably have sounded a bit sarcastic.

So I just sighed as he drove away, collected my impaired trash bin, and hobbled it up to the garage for next week's adventure.

And I started thinking about all the times I've been the trash man to others.

When I yelled at my kids when they didn't deserve it.
When I ignored a request from a friend because I didn't feel like it.
When I had a bad day and didn't give 100% to my customers.
When I (God Forgive me!) lied to my boss about being sick, so I didn't have to work on an important project that bored me to tears.
When I get frustrated with myself and start calling ME names.

I could go on for hours with this list - as I'm sure you could, too.

The point is, we can either accept these "character flaws" as a part of who we are, or we can strive to improve with each passing moment. We can make a point of doing the work it takes to do the right thing, or we can keep hucking the neighbor's trash cans across the street, breaking the wheel, and along with it their trust and our credibility.

So I'm sorry for being a jerk. To You. To My Kids, family, friends and former bosses.
I'm also sorry for being a jerk to myself. Getting frustrated when I truly had no control over a situation, knocking myself around when I didn't deserve it.

And I'm sorry I couldn't tell today's trash man what I always want to say.

"THANK YOU!"

Lucky - After 10,000 Tries

I love hearing people talk about their success with the following statement:

"I just got lucky."

Egads, people! Wake up and spell the four-leaved clovers! In reality the odds of luck happening to you are - well, in similar respect to the lottery.

But there are ways to tip the scales in your favor.

It's called hard work.

My grandmother used to keep a small plaque hung over her kitchen sink (because there was no window there) and it read:

Good Things Come
To He Who Waiteth
If He Worketh Like Heck
While He Waiteth.

That's what being lucky is all about.

Seth Godin's recent "Luck Parade" post give a glimpse into what this "get lucky" mentality is all about.

Yes, timing is a factor, but as Godin points out, "luck travels in packs".

There's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity waiting around every corner, folks. They're not all waiting for you, mind you, but they're out there.

And yes, you could be the first to strike it rich in some up-and-coming business category, but even if you're not first, if you're in the pack, you'll "be lucky" when success starts handing out passports to paradise.

But you know what? The work still had to be done before you could get lucky.

Edison's world famous light bulb is the testament to that. He didn't make it happen on the first try. And because he was SO cutting edge at the time, people were actually flouting his failure in his face. He refused to acknowledge defeat, thus the popular phrase: I didn't fail 10,000 times, I found 10,000 ways that didn't work.

But yeah, Edison got lucky - after 10,000 tries.

Listen With the Intent to Understand

I recently sat at my desk listening to a recorded conference call by Dr. Ellie Drake, another network marketing professional. It was an effective teleconference about developing listening skills and learning to connect to people with ease. The crux of the training call was the art of empathic listening.

Empathic listening requires you to ask a question and WAIT for the answer. But while you're waiting, you're LISTENING with the intent to understand, not with the intention of replying.

Did you catch that? Listen with the intent to understand. Don't listen with the intent to reply.

This means not thinking about what you want to say while your prospect is talking. It means to really focus on the words they are saying and what is going on in their mind. Without judging. Listen to their words, watch their body language, and focus on the speaker completely.

It's easier said than done. It takes practice and it doesn't always happen. Drake suggests to observe the speaker's feelings, emotions and inflections. Without judging, without trying to fix or solve anything. Just listen with your intuition and pick up on their feelings. Then state your observations about their emotions, without judgment and a tool belt in hand ready to solve their problems.

The idea, particularly in network marketing, is to stop pulling people into our business, to meet them where they are, without judging. Then, by meeting them where they are (emotionally), and validating their experiences with empathic listening, you open the door for them to make the choice to follow you into your opportunity. Once you understand your prospect - or more to the point, they feel like you understand them - then you can attract them to where you are by using empathy to connect to them to what you have to offer.

Drake suggests using a pattern of "ask, listen, ask, listen, speak" to direct you efficiently to the root of their "pain" which may indicate a need for an affirmative buying decision. This isn't just a recruiting idea. It's a sales concept that applies to any attempt to earn an affirmative buying decision. Stop trying to make decisions about what to say when you should be listening.

Take mental notes when the speaker is speaking. When the speaker is finished, make observations about the emotional issues laid before you. Drake states, "The degree that a person will cooperate with change is exactly dependent upon their clarity on what their pain is." It's not about the degree of pain, but the clarity on their pain in their situation.

Asking the right questions makes a difference. Ask questions with a focus to understand their situation and their pain. Then listen. Ask another question about your observations. Seek to understand the speaker. Only after you've asked valuable questions that elicit emotional responses from the speaker, and sought to understand the person behind the emotions, then you can move them from where they are to where you are.

People are looking for opportunities year round. It becomes easier to recruit them when you seek to understand their needs first. Then - and only then - should you attempt to attract them to your opportunity. Once they feel understood, they look to you as a source of pleasure and an expert that can help them resolve their issues.

But wouldn't it be nice if this happened everywhere?

What if the car dealer actually listened to what you wanted in a car, instead of bringing you the car he "knows" is just "perfect" for you?

What if your doctor took the time to listen to ALL your symptoms, not just the ones he can prescribe away? Now some Doctors ARE very good, don't get me wrong, but many times, they are not so attentive.

What if the teacher at school really listened to what your child told them - and took it to heart?

What if your spouse took time to focus on what you were saying - not just with your words - when they asked you "How was your day, honey?"

There are rare gems in the world that do all of this and more.

But can you imagine how much better it would be if everyone was like this?

Cackling Babies Tell it like it is

When you get a chance, do a search on YouTube for "why buy expensive toys" The little boy in the video is delirious about ripping out pages in a magazine.

This video is hilarious, but please don't patronize the links in the video. I learned the hard way that it's connected to a very UN-family-friendly website, if you understand what I mean.

I seriously thought about not posting this video referral at all, but then I got it in an email last week, and I knew God was telling me to share some details.

It's real life, after all!

In essence, the kid gets so slap happy from helping his father tear up the magazine pages that he starts busting out into raucous laughter - even before he tears the sheet.

And here's the marketing lesson: Sometimes simple is best.

Seriously. Sometimes we fret about how to make things so "perfect" for our end user, that we forget about the simplicity of things that already work.

Dan Kennedy says that sometimes "'good' is good enough" I take it one step further and say that sometimes "easy is hard enough"

Sure, there are people in the world that want a Porsche for the price of a moped. But that's not realistic.

Of course there are people that will pay $100 for a plastic toilet seat from Home Depot. But that's exploitative.

When you look at your customer, your product base, and your message - are you making it too hard for people to digest?

Keep it simple. Keep it real. Keep it on the level.

Chris Haddad wrote a post a while back about writing at the 4th or 5th grade level. That's the God's Honest Truth, folks. Even in a technical industry, the more simplified the marketing, the easier it is for people to grasp it.

Sure, your average Chemical Engineer should be able to read at a 12th grade level - but why would he want to? Higher-level thinking takes a lot out of you - especially when the same thing can be said in 150 words (or less) with one and two syllable words.

Take it from someone that loves to use big words:
Not everyone loves big words.

So if a cackling baby can find pleasure and delight in the daily tabloid rag, why can't we, as marketers, take a cue "from the mouths of babes" as it were?

Sometimes the easiest, and simplest messages are the best.

Here's one of my favorites:

"Dear Mom,
I love you.
Can I have a Nintendo DS?"

It doesn't get much clearer than that. I know right away who's being addressed, the message is loud and clear and there's no subterfuge.

Ya gotta love kids!